Cynthia was a nice Christian woman. She was active in the church and had led a great many people to Christ.
One day, while browsing the web she visited a News site that had a little ad at the bottom which had the picture of a barely clothed male.
Cynthia knew that she should ignore it or press the back button in her web browser but for some reason she clicked it. It led her to a site that she knew she shouldn’t be at but she heard a voice in her head that told her to watch on for only one minute.
After a minute had passed it told her to watch for only 5 minutes. She was slowly enjoying herself. Soon 5 minutes had turned into 2 hours of watching porno. Just then Cynthia heard her teenage kids come back from school and then she switched of the monitor without thinking. Her husband hadn’t been around for over 3 weeks, he was on a business trip. If only he knew what she was doing for the last 2 hours. But even more important than worrying about what her husband thinks, what does Jesus think about what she had just done. She had disappointed Jesus.
Cynthia shouted to her kids that she would be a minute. She switched the monitor back on and she deleted the browsing history and then she switched off the computer correctly.
Cynthia felt guilty for the rest of the week and she kept on asking God for forgiveness over and over again.
Late one evening, Cynthia was feeling very lonely again, her husband hadn’t come back and she couldn’t get her mind off the feeling that she was having. She soon found herself thinking of watching porno. She tried to shake off the feeling. She was a Christian. She belonged to Christ. She was not going to do anything filthy.
6 minutes later she was watching porn online with her laptop. A part of her relaxed but she could still hear a small voice in her heart telling her to close the web page.
Cynthia’s heart grew heavier and heavier, and she knew that she would feel guilty after she is through. However, Cynthia couldn’t help it. She couldn’t take a firm stand against revisiting porn sites. She soon started visiting porn sites everyday. It was slowly becoming a drug that she couldn’t live without.
Whenever Cynthia went to church now she felt like a hypocrite. She was in the church choir and as she would sing, all she could think of were words that pointed fingers at her and said that she was unworthy to be standing in front of the congregation singing praises to God.
When people would come up to Cynthia after the service to tell her how much her music ministration had blessed them, she would put up a fake smile and say what they expected her to say, but after they were through and she was alone she would cry and cry and cry. She was even almost beginning to hate herself. She hated feeling like a hypocrite and that terrible feeling which she loathed seemed to be the only feeling parading about in her heart these days.
Cynthia would pray and pray and pray that God would take away her secret addiction but every night she would get right back to watching porno. To make matters worse it was still days before her husband would be back.
Later, when her husband finally came back she confined him to their matrimonial bed for many nights and gave him many sleepless nights that married couples are supposed to give each other: the positive kind of sleepless nights.
During that period, Cynthia’s urge to watch porno greatly decreased but she was already addicted and she found herself watching porno every now and then but not everyday. She would often sneak out of the room to feed her habit when her husband was writing in the room or doing something else in the room. There was a lot of sneaking around going on that made her husband raise an eyebrow. However, he never caught her because he never thought that in a million years she could be watching porno.
One day, Cynthia finds her teenage son acting funny. She caught him on several occasions acting sneaky and hugging his laptop and taking it to secret and dark places around the house. She didn’t know what to make of it at first and didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but one day she saw him taking his laptop into the toilet while looking around to make sure no one was watching him. He didn’t see her but she saw him. Sadly, she now knew that her assumptions were correct.
Cynthia wanted to talk to her son about how harmful porno is but the feeling of hypocrisy burnt ever so strongly in her heart and so she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t give her son advise because he was struggling with the same thing she was struggling with.
Cynthia didn’t know how to even tell her husband what was happening with their son. What was she going to tell him: I know he is struggling with watching porno because I’m struggling with watching porno too and a porn junkie can tell when another person is a porn junkie more than other people?
Cynthia felt frustrated, not only was she going downhill but her son was going downhill too. She realized at this point that she needs to get help.
Cynthia told her best friend which shocked her severely. After a lot of talking between them they went to the church Pastor and talked to him.
Weeks later, Cynthia was totally free. She hadn’t visited a porn site and now anytime the thought came to her she cast it down with the word of God. Now when she was tempted she resisted the devil and he had no choice to but to flee.
Cynthia then tells her husbands all that had been going on with her. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She then made a deal with her husband that no matter what happens no matter what country either of them have to be in or travel to, they would put their being there to satisfy each other’s sexual needs first. “And Oh!” Cynthia added, “Your son is struggling with porno, you should go talk to him.”